Seriously?

As I prepare for my day, I read the news and watch the Today show. The newspapers tell stories of starving families who kill off their only milk-producing animal for meat, but on the Today show, they feature a new South Beach Diet.

I can't help but wonder if Americans are solely responsible for the food crisis. While the rest of the world starves, we are in the middle of an obesity epidemic. The world's food is in our bloated bellies.

On top of the over-eating, think of all the food we throw out. I did it just the other day, a few un-cooked noodles fell into my cat's food. I threw them out. I probably could have rinsed them off.

We are an over-indulgent wasteful nation, we have caused our own food and weight problems. No one is happy with what they have, with what they can afford. That's why we have the problems we do. No one needs $500 purse... the $30 one from Target is just as good, it's fucking disgusting how people spend money in this country. Fucking soccer moms in brand-new gas-guzzling SUVs with $500 Coach bags complaining about high grocery prices on the Today show. Fucking deal with you, you dug your grave, now lie in it, along with everyone else.

Many Americans are idiots. That's why we have the problems we do. And all the little idiots elected the biggest idiot of them all to lead. If you voted for Bush in 2004, you deserve what you got.

Seriously!

Read THIS

This girl is fucking nuts!

She reminds me of one of those girls on Maurry, you know, the girls who really want a baby... the ones who say they have lots of unprotected sex and they're like, 13? I bet she was just like those girls.

What really really really bothers me is the whole baby drop-off thing. I'm pretty sure there would have been few if any questions if she would have dropped the baby off at the nearest hospital. Even though the baby was older than most baby-drop off programs, I'm sure people at her local hospital would have hooked the girl up with the proper people to begin the adoption process.

This drives me absolutely nuts. I don't want my own kids, but I don't hate them. This story is so sad. This girl was so fucking selfish! Killing an innocent child so she can party, and now she's going to be in prison for hopefully years!

Goodbye Mike Huckabee

CTA, St. Patricks' Day and Other Things that are Wrong With Chicago

So, this past Sunday I attended the South Side Irish Parade in honor of St. Patrick's Day, even though it was 8 days early. While getting to the parade wasn't too bad, although we were wrongly led to a bus we didn't want to take, it was leaving after the mess of a parade.

First of all, the parade itself was pretty boring. Luckily, I was with people who were new and interesting to talk to. I can understand why so many people are drunk so early at this event... it makes it bearable. There wasn't even any candy thrown!!! What kind of parade doesn't have candy?!?

It took two hours just to get from the apartment on Western where we were hanging out to the redline, where I had another 1.5 hour commute back to my apartment. Anyway... we started our trek by asking cops what the best way to get back to the redline was... the first few didn't know... the next ones told us to take Metra. As we walked to 107th, we ran into a line of cops on horses who wouldn't let us walk 20 ft to get to 107th... we didn't have cups to throw on the ground, we weren't drunk, but they wouldn't let us through!

So we trekked to the nearest Metra stop, and found out we'd have to wait an hour and a half just for a train to take us to downtown. So further north we walked to 103rd... where we caught a crowded bus after much too long a wait. What seemed like an eternity later, we arrived at the 95th Redline stop, to begin the long journey back to the North Side.

This is the question I pose to the CTA and the City of Chicago all together: Why the hell didn't you plan for this?!?! You had the police force out, why not the buses? Isn't the CTA supposed to be a great alternative to drinking and driving? There should have been buses leaving from Western express to the Redline stop every five minutes from 1/2 an hour after the parade ended... and then every-other train should have been running express until at least Roosevelt, if not further.

Get the drunk people out of the South Side and get them back to bed... I missed a supper that I was kinda looking forward to.

Stupid non-planning CTA.

Another One Bites the Dust

What ever happened to the single girl? Helen Gurley Brown, where art thou!

Earlier this week, I found out some old friends of mine were getting married, which is cool, 'cause they've been together a long time, and she's been planning the wedding for more than a year now, anyway.

But, it got me thinking, what ever happened to the single girl? Everyone around me is hooking up and dropping out of the game. Of course, part of it is that I just recently finished undergrad, and there tends to be a flood of marriages and engagements that happen as people finish college.

Even the ladies from Sex and the City are all paired off. Granted, in the upcoming movie they will all be beyond 40, but still!!!

Where are my role models?

I'm young, I don't want to be a married old hag yet! Where are the Mary Tyler Moores, the That Girls, the Carrie Bradshaws? Hell, I'll even take the Golden Girls!

Men have had many bachelor role models over the years, women need the same thing.

Thinking About Starting Again

After a long period of not dating, due mostly to bad timing and my own choice, I've decided to put myself "out there" again. The problem is, I don't want to think about it too hard.

I don't want a serious relationship. I want to date someone. I want someone to hang out with, to fool around with, hell.. eventually, to fuck. But not right away. At the same time, I want to be exclusive with this person. On the other hand, I don't want to totally rule out a serious relationship if the person ends up being awesome...

I maybe want too much... or not enough.

I'm not looking for anything serious, but I don't want to rule anything out just in case I meet someone really cool. If I meet anyone at all.

I'm not big on personal ads, and I'm not big on asking friends to set me up with their friends. I don't know how to meet people in the real world. Gone are the days when I can leave my dorm room door open, and cute guys will walk by and invite me to Perkins. I'm not comfortable with bars... bars are for getting laid, not a boyfriend.

That's definitely what I want right now, just a boyfriend. And not a serious one. I want someone I can trust, more like a friend with benefits, but less casual.

I know exactly what I want.

This is like finding a well-fitting women's button-up white shirt. You see a lot of other people with them, they look really cute and classy, but when ever I go out looking for one, I can't find one that fits right and is in my price range!

I guess, I'm out there, but I'm not trying hard...

and there is Cute Caribou Boy... maybe this week I'll figure out his name.

Love and Holidays

With Christmas and New Year's behind us, and Valentine's Day fast approaching, it makes me wonder about relationships. Relationships and Facebook, to be precise. After the holidays, I notices an onslaught of break-ups. Because, of course, it's rude to break up with someone before Christmas, and if you've waited this long, you might as well wait until after New Years... why spoil a holiday. But then things must end before Valentine's Day... otherwise you'll have to wait until after then, too.

So far, I haven't witnessed a ton of new relationships popping up on Facebook... but maybe after Valentine's Day... you know, there's a little dating before the holiday, but VD makes it official... I guess we'll see.

Dating is such a funny thing. I'm glad I'm a spectator for now, and no long a participant.

Welcome, 2008

Jan. 1, 2008

A new year. I'm very excited. I'm finally getting my shit together. Things are going my way. I've got my own apartment, my grades weren't that great last semester, but they weren't that bad, either. While a B- isn't great, it'll only take a B+ to get my average back to a B. And I plan on putting a lot more effort into my studies this semester. I'm taking this semester much more seriously. I've got a lot of shit out of the way, I've got my own apartment, I'm not worried about looking for a new one, or moving. I've got a plan for getting control over my debt... at least the credit card part. The student loan part comes after graduation. I really hope I graduate. I really do want my master's degree. But right now I really just have school and work on my plate. And because I have my own apartment I don't have to worry about other people's schedules conflicting with my own. My apartment can turn into an office, or a spa, or what ever, but it's what ever I want it to be.

I'm definitely seeing 2008 as an improvement compared to 2007. Not that 2007 didn't have it's moments, but overall, it kind of sucked.

2007 started for me with a trip to Florida... it was my first time flying. I went to visit a really good friend, and we started dating shortly after I returned to Minnesota, with him in Florida and me in Minnesota. Needless to stay, I spent a lot of time on the phone during the six months we dated. That relationship ended in July, and I was worried about losing one of my best friends, but, we've worked our shit out, and are good friends again.

By the time 2007 came around, my relationship with my former roommates was tense at best. Someone who had once been one of my best friends became foreign to me, she wasn't the person I knew year's ago... she was her boyfriend's girlfriend, and it got worse when he proposed. That was really hard on me, but I also have no problem cutting people out of my life who are toxic to me. My old roommates caused me a lot of stress, which was toxic.

In April of 20087 I was officially accepted into the Graduate Journalism program at Columbia College Chicago. My plans to move to Chicago officially began.

I graduated from BSU in May of 2007. As awesome as that was, it also sucked to say goodbye to some of my friends.

Also in May of 2007, my grandmother, my only remaining grandparent, was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was really scarey dealing with that, and I even reconsidered my move to Chicago.

By the end of May, I moved to the house right across the alley, my stress level dropped dramatically. Proving that my best roommates are people from Wisconsin. This summer was great, accept for the part where I broke up with boyfriend, right before I moved to Chicago. Other than that... it was a nice last summer in Bemidji.

I opted for on-campus housing because I couldn't afford a trip down to Chicago to go apartment hunting. The idea of sharing a two-bedroom, one-bath with three other girls didn't sound that bad. The bedrooms were tiny, and four girls generate a lot of loose hair in the bathroom.

When I first moved to Chicago, I stayed at a hostel, because residence life wouldn't let me move in early for free, and I needed to take a class. At this point, I was seriously considering dropping out of the program. I hated staying at the hostel. Never again for that long. Ten fucking days... no way.

But once I got into my apartment, it got better. Until my alcohol violation, which is when I decided I needed to get off campus.

I found an apartment in the beginning of November, and moved right before I came up to Minnesota to finish out the year in Bemidji.

All that stress at the end of the semester didn't do well for my grades. I'm sure that next semester will be better.

So far, 2008 has been great. I think I started the new year off right, I hope.

Of Sex and Love

There once was a time, in what seems was so very long ago, that I believe that sex could not be with out love. That it wasn't right to have sex with someone you didn't love. I was so naive back then!

Love, in it's true form, is a very powerful force. Love can blur our clear thinking, fogging up our logic, and cause us to make bad decisions, often involving sex.

People often claim raging hormones are the cause for teen sex, but in my experience, it's been puppy-love. "I think I love him... should we make love?"

"Make love," such a joke! Just FUCK... have sex, bone, do "it"... but don't make love. It's too dangerous. Fucking is just raw bodies... it's pure. Love screws it up... it brings emotion into the equation. You can't think about protection and yourself as clearly when you make love, when you're in love.

I know I'm starting to sound like a whore, but hear me out. People don't make bad life decisions because they had sex, they make bad life decisions because they were in love, because they made love, because they want to be with so-and-so.

When you can separate sex and love, things become so much easier. You don't have another person to factor into your life, it's just you.

I'm not advocating sleeping around. I believe in the fuck-buddy. A good friend that you're attracted to,you trust enough to have sex with you, but that you have no interest in a relationship with, nor have you had a previous romantic relationship, unless, of course, it was thoroughly worked through that a romantic relationship was completely out of the question.

Everyone has a friend (or two or three) that there is an undeniable physical attraction to, but for several other factors, a romantic relationship just wouldn't work.

Talk to that person, be honest. Tell them "I want to fuck you, but that's it. I trust you, you're my friend, and I really want to fuck you... no relationship... just sex."

That's a type of safe sex that no one ever talks about... sex where your heart is safe. No one ever talks about the emotional damage that can be done by love and sex.

Fuck buddies... UNITE!

Naked

Since when does naked = sex? Why is a nude automatically porn?
Check this out.

This kid could have to register as a sex offender... just for being naked because under-aged people were in the audience.

We really need to re-evaluate our definition of sex, and sex offenders, naked is naked.

Our sex offender laws are there for a reason, not to stop people from pulling silly pranks. In Illinois, if you're charged with public urination, you have to register as a sex offender. Last I checked, if you're peeing in public, it's probably not because you're getting off, it's probably because you really have to pee (and most likely drunk) and can't find a public rest room. If you're doing it to get off, there's probably more going on than public urination.

Let's save the sex offender tag for true sex offenders, before it becomes less serious.

No Smoking

Can the smokers come back inside already?

I don't smoke... I don't like being around people who do. Once I dated a guy for a couple of weeks who smoked , and I got the worst cold of my life... nasty cough that came along with that.

I'm sick of having to walk through a cloud of smoke every time I want to go into a smoke-free building. I live in a smoke-free building. Anytime I leave or come home during the hours regular college students are awake, I have to walk through a cloud of smoke. If the smokers could smoke in their own rooms and apartments, they wouldn't have to poison my lungs with their smoke.

Give them a few floors to their smoke on... I'm sick of walking through the haze

Alcohol Violation?

I left my on-campus apartment on Wednesday morning at 8:30am so I could get to my 9am class a little early and read the newspaper, amoung other things. I had to take the stairs, because the elevators are fucking slow.

When I finally got home at 9:15pm after two classes and a CAPS meeting in Lincoln Park, I had just enough time to change into jammies and check my email before the Daily Show. About half-way through, my RA knocks on my door to tell me that there has been an alcohol violation in my apartment, and that our visitor privilages have been revoked. They handle everything on a case-by-case basis, so I have to set up an appointment with judicial affairs.

Yes, I had beer in my apartment... I'm 22 years old. I haven't lived in dorms since I was 20. And I honestly intended to cook with it!

My biggest question is: What was going on in my apartment so the on duty RA felt the need to enter, and proceed to look for and take alcohol?

Were my roommates being loud so an RA came in, or do RAs randomly check apartments, just in case? And if they randomly check, where is the line drawn? If they overhear I have a flask of Capt. Morgan in my underwear drawer, do they dig through my underwear drawer?

So now, I have to find time in my already busy schedule to go and talk to theses people, and see what really went on.

I'm pissed

Something

I don't know, I'm just bored.

I'm trying to write an article about something that I don't know about, and I don't know how to approach it, so I'm blogging instead. Maybe it'll get me in the mood for writing, maybe it'll just make me feel a little more productive. I don't know. Grrrr... I wish this one was as easy for me as the last article I had to write. My last article was kick ass! I know I'm not going to like this one. It pisses me off. Stupid board of education. Is CPS a well-known acronym in Chicago? I don't know! How do I find out these things? The worst part of this is I'm dumped in a new state, and expected to know things as if I've lived here my whole life, or at least a few months. Oh well, I know it'll get easier the longer I'm here, but still!!!

Anyway, I'm gonna try and write more

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

I just got back from the midnight showing of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix” I don't know why I bother with the movies... I'm always disappointed by them! First of, the title is "... and the Order of the Phoenix," right? You don't learn squat about the Order of the Phoenix in the movie! I know a movie is never going to be exactly like a book... there are a million reasons, and I know a lot of them, but there are too many WTF moments in these movies! The story has been severely manipulated to the point where it's barely recognizable! The timeline gets screwed around, "facts" get messed around, we don't learn certain things the same way in the movie as the book. I don't think you can truly understand one with out the other... the books keep the story strait, while the movies help visualize the crazy and wonderful world of Hogwarts.

I guess I should stop expecting as much from Hollywood as I do from the great literary minds of our day.

I just hope Book 7 doesn't disappoint me the way "The Order of the Phoenix" has.

Douchebags

Why are women attracted to these types of men!?!? WHY?!?! I don't get it... just looking at this picture pissed me off. I want to beat the shit out of this guy. Who, who in their right mind would be attracted to this. Check these guys out:

Either they're from the future or they're assholes. (from CollegeHumor)

Seriously, I can't stand looking at these guys... puke!

Short Story #1

She didn’t want to do it, not at first, but he was so cute, smart, and funny. She saw him from across the room the night before, it was so cliché, but maybe that’s what made it right. At first, she was just going to play coy, introduce herself, leave him wanting more. His plan must have been the same, because after meeting him, she wanted more. For the rest of the night, she could barely leave his side. When it was time to go home, she wanted to go home with him. It was a perfect night of passion, but then the morning came. Passion didn’t look so good on clean white sheets. She was so worried that this wonderful man she had just met would never want to see her again.

When he was in the bathroom, she left a piece of paper with her name and phone number in his jacket. Her plan was let him make the first real move, she had made so many the night before. She quickly pulled back her hair, put on some dirty jeans and a t-shirt and made a pot of coffee. As she heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door open, her heart jumped. She poured some coffee in a couple of to-go cups, hoping that it would reduce the awkwardness. As he came out in his shirt and pants from the night before, she swooned a little.

“Good morning,” his voice made her weak again, it was just two words.

“’Morning, I made some coffee,” of course she made coffee, how stupid was she… if she didn’t make the coffee, who did?

“Thanks, um… yeah. Um… do you have any plans today?” what was this… he sounded nervous!

“I’m just running errands all day, I might go to the gym this evening. Nothing big, I’m just going to take my time getting stuff done and enjoy my day…you?” good plan, busy day, fool proof, she wouldn’t sound desperate.

“Oh,” did he just sound disappointed? “well, I suppose I should be on my way, I’ve got… stuff to do today, too. Thanks for the coffee.”

He put on his shoes, grabbed his jacked, and coolly grabbed his coffee, and left. At that point, she didn’t know if she would ever see him again.

Love and Marriage

Love and marriage. All you need it love. The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. From birth we’re bombarded with images of happy couples, and how love is this great thing that we can only hope to achieve. I’m a senior at a small midwestern college, and have witnessed friends and classmates get engaged, married, and even have children. Me? I’m going to grad school. Moving to the big city. I’ve learned that nothing good comes from love, at least not anything good for me.

These couples that get married right out of high school or right out of college, do they really believe that they’ve found “the one” or are they scared that nothing better will come along? Are you head over heals, can’t live with out you in love, or do you want to get married, do you want to have that wedding? Do you realize that you’re agreeing to spend the rest of your life with this person? You don’t just get the ring and the dress, you get the good and the bad of that person, too.

Am I less of a person because I refuse to settle? I want the world, I want someone to give it to me. I want Tiffany. I want a giant house. I want several occasions to wear a formal gown. I want the life I didn’t have growing up. I know I can do it myself, why should I wait on someone else to do it for me?

I would like to think that I’ll be revered for my choices. The more and more I learn about wedding planning (the money, the arrangements, the people) the less I want a wedding. Not that I don’t wish to get married, I would love to find that special person and spend the rest of my life with them. I just don’t want a wedding. I don’t want all the hoopla.

I don’t think the beginning of a marriage is something to celebrate. Ten years, fifteen, twenty… those are reasons to celebrate. Anyone can put on a big white dress and walk down and aisle and promise someone something. It’s following through with that promise that should be celebrated.

I don’t want a wedding, I want a marriage. I don’t want a lover, I want a great love. I’ve made it this far without settling. I think I can make it several more years at this point.

Co-Habitation

I've been thinking about co-habitation a lot lately, and how I'm against it. For me, it doesn't have anything to do with morals or religion. In fact, I don't see anything wrong with it. I don't like it becuase too many people my age (or younger!) are loosing their sense of self. We talk about how much our society has advanced, and how women can be themselves, but I see so many girls my age aligning themselves with the first or second thing they date out of high school, and settling down in a cheap apartment near campus, thinking they're now grown up because they have what their parents, or older siblings, or cousins or what ever have. But I think it stops growth.

The women's movement was about advancement, about freeing ourselves from men, in a sense. Not completely, but women could be successful with or with out men. I like the idea that we can have a man if we want, but we don't need one. Marriage isn't something a woman needs to be considered a success. The sad thing is, I don't always get that feeling from the people I'm surrounded by. Marriage, a relationship, men, seem to be the be-all end all. If you don't have one, you're nothing.

This is where co-habitaiton comes in. It's become too easy for a couple to live together before marriage. Like I said, I see nothing wrong with this morally, but people are jumping to loose their independence so soon. I don't think people realize how big of a commitment living together is. There are finances to worry about, who does the cleaning, where food is coming from. Not only do you have a roommate, you have a life mate. People don't like to think about the non-romantic aspects of relationships.

I think living together has something to do with fake morals. If you're commited enough to live together, you're not just sleeping with someone, you're not a whore. But you are. You're giving someone your independence for slightly more legitamate sex.

I think the golden age of single-dom and relationships was the 70's and 80's, and maybe the early 90's. It was after the sexual revolution, in the midst of women's rights. A woman could live on her own, have a career, sleep with men and not be fully commited with out being harsly judged by society. There was easy access to birth control, babies only came about if you wanted (at least for smart women). You could find love if you wanted.

The new millenium has brought us a "moral" revolution. Partly because of 9/11, partly the republican political influence, America is getting more "moral." It's not like the 50's, but it's an attack on the left. "Liberal" has become a bad word, not just a nice way to say "too much mayo" (you know, a liberal amount) Commitment became a necessity again, but a new millenium commitment. Living together is this way to prove you're grown up with out a major commitment, you're not getting married, (no legal documents), you're not getting your own place (rent, utilities, cable, internet, phone... all on your own? no way!), you're not starting a great career (why, you're living with someone, let's have kids instead... then we can get on welfare and food stamps!) It's like the easy way to tell people you're "grown up," but, therefore, by taking the easy way out, you're not grown up.

There's nothing wrong with living together, as long as you're doing it for the right reasons. But I think that everyone should live completely on their own (no parental assistance... maybe roommates, depending on where you're living) for at least one year before living with someone in a romantic relationship. One year, to yourself, to learn what you're like.

The End, or the Beginning?

Two weeks ago, I graduated from college. It's strange. College is this thing that we're reaching for from the moment we enter kindergarten, we're told to do good in school so we can go to college and get a good job. I'm done with college. I chose to further my education rather than get a job. Honestly, it's because I don't feel ready to enter the workforce, and I want to be better. I just want to be better than everyone else. My old roommate is engaged, she's getting married and should be graduating at about the same time next spring. I chose to take an extra year because her fiance would have finnished school then, too. Instead, he dropped out of the 4-year school, started at the 2-year school, and dropped out somewhere in the middle of his first semester. She'll be finnishing her bachelor's at 23, I'll be finnishing my master's at 23.

I don't want to get married and have kids. I might want to get married, I'm not sure. Maybe I want to be one of those people who find a mate and live with them without ever making it legal. I'd rather be in love than have a peice of paper. If I do ever get married, it'll be in Vegas, at the Little White Chapel or such. It's just a peice of paper, might as well have fun getting it. Why stress yourself out planning a big party to feed nasty people expensive food? The only reason I'd want a wedding is to get all the awesome kitchen stuff people give you. But half of that's crap, too. Maybe I sound greedy.

I don't have any problems with marriage, it's weddings I don't like. I don't like what they've become. I'd rather have that Vegas wedding, and have a big party when I've been hitched for a consecutive 10 years.

I've been watching and reading Sex and the City a lot lately, it makes me think I'm too young to even thinking about marriage. Why are there people my age getting married? What's the point? Why should we commit ourselve to one person so young? On that note, I'm with a wonderful guy and the idea of ending it devistates me. The idea that I'm too young to have met the person I'm meant to be with means that I can't be with him. Grrrr...

Maybe I'm just too young to be done with school. Maybe that's why I'm going to grad school, to age a bit more. All I know is that I'm not ready to work, at least not in the industry I want. I'm scared, about a lot of things. But I also know that everything will fall into place as well.

Packing

Packing is so sad. Right now I'm working on packing up stuff to leave at my parents for a while... like, a couple of years. I think I'm going to miss my cocktail set the most. I used a couple of issues of the New York Times to pack it all in, I'm worried my brothers might decide to smash it, just 'cause. They're like that sometimes. Yeah, anyway... back to work!