Jan. 1, 2008
A new year. I'm very excited. I'm finally getting my shit together. Things are going my way. I've got my own apartment, my grades weren't that great last semester, but they weren't that bad, either. While a B- isn't great, it'll only take a B+ to get my average back to a B. And I plan on putting a lot more effort into my studies this semester. I'm taking this semester much more seriously. I've got a lot of shit out of the way, I've got my own apartment, I'm not worried about looking for a new one, or moving. I've got a plan for getting control over my debt... at least the credit card part. The student loan part comes after graduation. I really hope I graduate. I really do want my master's degree. But right now I really just have school and work on my plate. And because I have my own apartment I don't have to worry about other people's schedules conflicting with my own. My apartment can turn into an office, or a spa, or what ever, but it's what ever I want it to be.
I'm definitely seeing 2008 as an improvement compared to 2007. Not that 2007 didn't have it's moments, but overall, it kind of sucked.
2007 started for me with a trip to Florida... it was my first time flying. I went to visit a really good friend, and we started dating shortly after I returned to Minnesota, with him in Florida and me in Minnesota. Needless to stay, I spent a lot of time on the phone during the six months we dated. That relationship ended in July, and I was worried about losing one of my best friends, but, we've worked our shit out, and are good friends again.
By the time 2007 came around, my relationship with my former roommates was tense at best. Someone who had once been one of my best friends became foreign to me, she wasn't the person I knew year's ago... she was her boyfriend's girlfriend, and it got worse when he proposed. That was really hard on me, but I also have no problem cutting people out of my life who are toxic to me. My old roommates caused me a lot of stress, which was toxic.
In April of 20087 I was officially accepted into the Graduate Journalism program at Columbia College Chicago. My plans to move to Chicago officially began.
I graduated from BSU in May of 2007. As awesome as that was, it also sucked to say goodbye to some of my friends.
Also in May of 2007, my grandmother, my only remaining grandparent, was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was really scarey dealing with that, and I even reconsidered my move to Chicago.
By the end of May, I moved to the house right across the alley, my stress level dropped dramatically. Proving that my best roommates are people from Wisconsin. This summer was great, accept for the part where I broke up with boyfriend, right before I moved to Chicago. Other than that... it was a nice last summer in Bemidji.
I opted for on-campus housing because I couldn't afford a trip down to Chicago to go apartment hunting. The idea of sharing a two-bedroom, one-bath with three other girls didn't sound that bad. The bedrooms were tiny, and four girls generate a lot of loose hair in the bathroom.
When I first moved to Chicago, I stayed at a hostel, because residence life wouldn't let me move in early for free, and I needed to take a class. At this point, I was seriously considering dropping out of the program. I hated staying at the hostel. Never again for that long. Ten fucking days... no way.
But once I got into my apartment, it got better. Until my alcohol violation, which is when I decided I needed to get off campus.
I found an apartment in the beginning of November, and moved right before I came up to Minnesota to finish out the year in Bemidji.
All that stress at the end of the semester didn't do well for my grades. I'm sure that next semester will be better.
So far, 2008 has been great. I think I started the new year off right, I hope.
1/01/2008
11/12/2007
Of Sex and Love
There once was a time, in what seems was so very long ago, that I believe that sex could not be with out love. That it wasn't right to have sex with someone you didn't love. I was so naive back then!
Love, in it's true form, is a very powerful force. Love can blur our clear thinking, fogging up our logic, and cause us to make bad decisions, often involving sex.
People often claim raging hormones are the cause for teen sex, but in my experience, it's been puppy-love. "I think I love him... should we make love?"
"Make love," such a joke! Just FUCK... have sex, bone, do "it"... but don't make love. It's too dangerous. Fucking is just raw bodies... it's pure. Love screws it up... it brings emotion into the equation. You can't think about protection and yourself as clearly when you make love, when you're in love.
I know I'm starting to sound like a whore, but hear me out. People don't make bad life decisions because they had sex, they make bad life decisions because they were in love, because they made love, because they want to be with so-and-so.
When you can separate sex and love, things become so much easier. You don't have another person to factor into your life, it's just you.
I'm not advocating sleeping around. I believe in the fuck-buddy. A good friend that you're attracted to,you trust enough to have sex with you, but that you have no interest in a relationship with, nor have you had a previous romantic relationship, unless, of course, it was thoroughly worked through that a romantic relationship was completely out of the question.
Everyone has a friend (or two or three) that there is an undeniable physical attraction to, but for several other factors, a romantic relationship just wouldn't work.
Talk to that person, be honest. Tell them "I want to fuck you, but that's it. I trust you, you're my friend, and I really want to fuck you... no relationship... just sex."
That's a type of safe sex that no one ever talks about... sex where your heart is safe. No one ever talks about the emotional damage that can be done by love and sex.
Fuck buddies... UNITE!
Love, in it's true form, is a very powerful force. Love can blur our clear thinking, fogging up our logic, and cause us to make bad decisions, often involving sex.
People often claim raging hormones are the cause for teen sex, but in my experience, it's been puppy-love. "I think I love him... should we make love?"
"Make love," such a joke! Just FUCK... have sex, bone, do "it"... but don't make love. It's too dangerous. Fucking is just raw bodies... it's pure. Love screws it up... it brings emotion into the equation. You can't think about protection and yourself as clearly when you make love, when you're in love.
I know I'm starting to sound like a whore, but hear me out. People don't make bad life decisions because they had sex, they make bad life decisions because they were in love, because they made love, because they want to be with so-and-so.
When you can separate sex and love, things become so much easier. You don't have another person to factor into your life, it's just you.
I'm not advocating sleeping around. I believe in the fuck-buddy. A good friend that you're attracted to,you trust enough to have sex with you, but that you have no interest in a relationship with, nor have you had a previous romantic relationship, unless, of course, it was thoroughly worked through that a romantic relationship was completely out of the question.
Everyone has a friend (or two or three) that there is an undeniable physical attraction to, but for several other factors, a romantic relationship just wouldn't work.
Talk to that person, be honest. Tell them "I want to fuck you, but that's it. I trust you, you're my friend, and I really want to fuck you... no relationship... just sex."
That's a type of safe sex that no one ever talks about... sex where your heart is safe. No one ever talks about the emotional damage that can be done by love and sex.
Fuck buddies... UNITE!
9/30/2007
Naked
Since when does naked = sex? Why is a nude automatically porn?
Check this out.
This kid could have to register as a sex offender... just for being naked because under-aged people were in the audience.
We really need to re-evaluate our definition of sex, and sex offenders, naked is naked.
Our sex offender laws are there for a reason, not to stop people from pulling silly pranks. In Illinois, if you're charged with public urination, you have to register as a sex offender. Last I checked, if you're peeing in public, it's probably not because you're getting off, it's probably because you really have to pee (and most likely drunk) and can't find a public rest room. If you're doing it to get off, there's probably more going on than public urination.
Let's save the sex offender tag for true sex offenders, before it becomes less serious.
Check this out.
This kid could have to register as a sex offender... just for being naked because under-aged people were in the audience.
We really need to re-evaluate our definition of sex, and sex offenders, naked is naked.
Our sex offender laws are there for a reason, not to stop people from pulling silly pranks. In Illinois, if you're charged with public urination, you have to register as a sex offender. Last I checked, if you're peeing in public, it's probably not because you're getting off, it's probably because you really have to pee (and most likely drunk) and can't find a public rest room. If you're doing it to get off, there's probably more going on than public urination.
Let's save the sex offender tag for true sex offenders, before it becomes less serious.
9/15/2007
No Smoking
Can the smokers come back inside already?
I don't smoke... I don't like being around people who do. Once I dated a guy for a couple of weeks who smoked , and I got the worst cold of my life... nasty cough that came along with that.
I'm sick of having to walk through a cloud of smoke every time I want to go into a smoke-free building. I live in a smoke-free building. Anytime I leave or come home during the hours regular college students are awake, I have to walk through a cloud of smoke. If the smokers could smoke in their own rooms and apartments, they wouldn't have to poison my lungs with their smoke.
Give them a few floors to their smoke on... I'm sick of walking through the haze
I don't smoke... I don't like being around people who do. Once I dated a guy for a couple of weeks who smoked , and I got the worst cold of my life... nasty cough that came along with that.
I'm sick of having to walk through a cloud of smoke every time I want to go into a smoke-free building. I live in a smoke-free building. Anytime I leave or come home during the hours regular college students are awake, I have to walk through a cloud of smoke. If the smokers could smoke in their own rooms and apartments, they wouldn't have to poison my lungs with their smoke.
Give them a few floors to their smoke on... I'm sick of walking through the haze
9/14/2007
Alcohol Violation?
I left my on-campus apartment on Wednesday morning at 8:30am so I could get to my 9am class a little early and read the newspaper, amoung other things. I had to take the stairs, because the elevators are fucking slow.
When I finally got home at 9:15pm after two classes and a CAPS meeting in Lincoln Park, I had just enough time to change into jammies and check my email before the Daily Show. About half-way through, my RA knocks on my door to tell me that there has been an alcohol violation in my apartment, and that our visitor privilages have been revoked. They handle everything on a case-by-case basis, so I have to set up an appointment with judicial affairs.
Yes, I had beer in my apartment... I'm 22 years old. I haven't lived in dorms since I was 20. And I honestly intended to cook with it!
My biggest question is: What was going on in my apartment so the on duty RA felt the need to enter, and proceed to look for and take alcohol?
Were my roommates being loud so an RA came in, or do RAs randomly check apartments, just in case? And if they randomly check, where is the line drawn? If they overhear I have a flask of Capt. Morgan in my underwear drawer, do they dig through my underwear drawer?
So now, I have to find time in my already busy schedule to go and talk to theses people, and see what really went on.
I'm pissed
When I finally got home at 9:15pm after two classes and a CAPS meeting in Lincoln Park, I had just enough time to change into jammies and check my email before the Daily Show. About half-way through, my RA knocks on my door to tell me that there has been an alcohol violation in my apartment, and that our visitor privilages have been revoked. They handle everything on a case-by-case basis, so I have to set up an appointment with judicial affairs.
Yes, I had beer in my apartment... I'm 22 years old. I haven't lived in dorms since I was 20. And I honestly intended to cook with it!
My biggest question is: What was going on in my apartment so the on duty RA felt the need to enter, and proceed to look for and take alcohol?
Were my roommates being loud so an RA came in, or do RAs randomly check apartments, just in case? And if they randomly check, where is the line drawn? If they overhear I have a flask of Capt. Morgan in my underwear drawer, do they dig through my underwear drawer?
So now, I have to find time in my already busy schedule to go and talk to theses people, and see what really went on.
I'm pissed
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