The End, or the Beginning?

Two weeks ago, I graduated from college. It's strange. College is this thing that we're reaching for from the moment we enter kindergarten, we're told to do good in school so we can go to college and get a good job. I'm done with college. I chose to further my education rather than get a job. Honestly, it's because I don't feel ready to enter the workforce, and I want to be better. I just want to be better than everyone else. My old roommate is engaged, she's getting married and should be graduating at about the same time next spring. I chose to take an extra year because her fiance would have finnished school then, too. Instead, he dropped out of the 4-year school, started at the 2-year school, and dropped out somewhere in the middle of his first semester. She'll be finnishing her bachelor's at 23, I'll be finnishing my master's at 23.

I don't want to get married and have kids. I might want to get married, I'm not sure. Maybe I want to be one of those people who find a mate and live with them without ever making it legal. I'd rather be in love than have a peice of paper. If I do ever get married, it'll be in Vegas, at the Little White Chapel or such. It's just a peice of paper, might as well have fun getting it. Why stress yourself out planning a big party to feed nasty people expensive food? The only reason I'd want a wedding is to get all the awesome kitchen stuff people give you. But half of that's crap, too. Maybe I sound greedy.

I don't have any problems with marriage, it's weddings I don't like. I don't like what they've become. I'd rather have that Vegas wedding, and have a big party when I've been hitched for a consecutive 10 years.

I've been watching and reading Sex and the City a lot lately, it makes me think I'm too young to even thinking about marriage. Why are there people my age getting married? What's the point? Why should we commit ourselve to one person so young? On that note, I'm with a wonderful guy and the idea of ending it devistates me. The idea that I'm too young to have met the person I'm meant to be with means that I can't be with him. Grrrr...

Maybe I'm just too young to be done with school. Maybe that's why I'm going to grad school, to age a bit more. All I know is that I'm not ready to work, at least not in the industry I want. I'm scared, about a lot of things. But I also know that everything will fall into place as well.